Puzzle Bashing
by BUTOCXSZF
Summary: A bunch of fics about various puzzles being destroyed. Each chapter will have a new puzzle. Not all of them are about Kai and Tala, the evil thing just won't let me change it!
1. Tangram

Hya people!!! Here's a short little fic I came up with in math class, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own beyblade or any tangrams for that matter.

Warning: Exceptionally slight yaoi in this chapter. I don't really think it counts, but I'll mention it just incase.

Kai cut out the pieces of his tangram and begun to make them into the shape shown in the book he got it out of. Unfortunately for Kai, the puzzle book had no answer page and he was having difficulties making his tangram pieces do what he wanted them to.

"GRRRRR!" he was quickly losing his temper with this, the most evil of all evil puzzles.

He tried another shape, no luck. _This stupid thing hates me._ He thought, trying another shape.

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHH!"

This just wasn't his day.

"STUPID SQUARE!!!! WHY COULDN'T YOU BE A TRIANGLE!!!! OH, THAT'S RIGHT, IF YOU WERE A FRICKEN TRIANGLE I'D ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO MAKE THIS STUPID SHAPE!!!!"

"Having fun there, Kai?" asked Tala mockingly, he had heard the yelling from downstairs and had come to see what was so frustrating.

"NO!!! THIS STUPID TANGRAM IS SO INCREDIBLY STUPID IT COULD BEAT TYSON IN A STUPID CONTEST!!!!!"

"Kai, I doubt anything could be _that_ bad"

"YOU HAVEN'T TRIED THIS YET!!!"

"Ok, I'll give it a try then, but I still think you're being ridiculus."

Tala walked over to Kai's desk and tipped the chair over, making Kai fall in a heap on the floor. He replaced the chair on the floor, sat on it and kicked Kai until he rolled under the desk. (A/N: He's so nice)

THREE SECONDS LATER

"Done" declared Tala, pushing the chair back and letting Kai get up.

"What do you mean 'done'?"

"Finished, completed, etc"

"How?"

"Easy, I can't understand why you were having so much trouble with it"

"Shut up"

Kai sat down at his desk again and examined the now completed tangram puzzle sitting on it. He then dismantled the puzzle and tried to remake it. No success there.

"GRRRRR!!! THIS THING IS RIGGED!!!"

"No it's not, you're just incompetant"

"NO! IT'S JUST RIGGED!!!"

"Aw, does the baby need help with his tangram?" asked Tala mockingly, giving Kai a big hug from behind.

Kai head butted him in an effort to make him let go. Tala chuckled and obliged, then gave his friend a kiss on the cheek, earning him a hard elbow in the ribs and a death glare that would make any sane person want to cower in the corner. Then, laughing hysterically, Tala left the room, annoying Kai was so much fun. Kai, meanwhile, was past exploding point.

"GRRRRRRR!!! THIS THING IS FUCKING POSSESSED!!!!!"

Just then inspiration struck. Kai chuckled softly to himself before putting his plan into action.

"I think you overdid it with the fire?" asked Tala, watching the house burn slowly to the ground, firefighters trying in vain to control the blaze.

Silence.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"BURN, TANGRAM, BURN!!!!"

"Sigh Remind me never to let you near a tangram again"

THE END!!!!

You like?

Please review.


	2. Sudoku

This took way longer than it should have to write. Enjoy!

SUDOKU!

* * *

"Ooooooo, a puzzle!" Tala had just discovered the sudoku on the fun page of the newspaper. 

"It's a sudoku. You have to place the numbers 1-9 in the boxes so that each row and 3x3 square has one of each number" explained Kai. "It'll take you all day."

"No it won't!"

"Yes, it will"

"No it won't, just you wait! I'll have this done before lunch!"

"Sure you will" said Kai sarcastically as he left the room.

THREE HOURS LATER

"You finished yet? Lunch is almost ready" called Kai from the kitchen, he was making sandwhiches.

"GRRRRRRRR!!! WHAT KIND OF SADISTIC MANIACS CAME UP WITH THIS CRAP?!!!!!"

"The Japanese, I think" putting the sandwiches on the table in front of Tala.

"I DID A SQUARE!!!!" yelled Tala triumphantly, taking a sandwich from the plate.

"How many have you done in total?"

"One"

"You're pathetic"

"Am not! It's hard!"

"It's difficulty level is 'so easy you could probably do it blindfolded'" commented Kai, looking over Tala's shoulder at the puzzle.

"It's lying to you"

"Let me have a go"

"Get your own!"

"Fine, I'll go get another newspaper. Then we'll see who's lying."

5 MINUTES LATER

"I'm back!" called Kai from the door as he kicked his shoes off. "Finished yet?"

"No! This thing is evil beyond all reason!"

"Really? I did mine on the way home" said Kai, holding up the completed sudoku.

"You got the newsagent to give you the answers didn't you!"

"No, I'm not that desperate. You could probably do that though, you look like you might explode otherwise"

"I'M NOT GOING TO EXPLODE!!!"

"Want me to give you mine to copy?"

"NO! I CAN DO IT!"

"No you can't"

"YES, I CAN!!!"

"Suit yourself" said Kai, taking the now empty plate of sandwiches into the kitchen. _I was only gone five minutes and he ate like fifty sandwiches!_

When Kai came back into the room he noticed that Tala had left the table and was now going through his school bag.

_What on Earth could he be looking for? It's not like a calculator will help him much _Thought Kai, wandering over to where Tala was sitting.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting scissors"

"Why?"

"That crappy puzzle is goin' down!"

"..."

Tala found a small bottle of craft glue and set it aside. "Where are my scissors?"

"I think you left them at Bryan's place on Saturday"

"What was I doing with scissors at Bryan's?"

"I seem to recall you chasing him with them"

"Oh. I remember now" said Tala "Can I borrow your scissors then?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Coz their mine"

"Please!" begged Tala, pulling a face.

"Fine"

"YAY! THANK YOU!" said Tala, giving Kai a hug.

"But only if you can find them"

"There had to be a catch" said Tala, letting go of Kai and standing up "Now, if I were scissors, where would I be?"

And so began the frantic search for Kai's scissors.

TWO HOURS LATER

"WHERE ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP YOUR GODDAMN SCISSORS KAI!!!!"

"If I told you then you wouldn't be allowed to borrow them"

"STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE AND TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE!!!"

"Don't you want to use my scissors?"

"I'M STARTING TO DOUBT IF YOU EVEN HAVE SCISSORS!!!"

"Why would I lie to you?"

"COZ YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!!!"

"Fair point, but I DO have scissors and they ARE in this house"

ANOTHER TWO HOURS LATER

Kai was sitting on the couch, watching TV when Tala came in. He looked exhausted, dragging his feet as he walked.

"Ok, I give up!" he said , throwing himself on the smaller couch, next to Kai's.

"On the sudoku or the scissors?"

"Both"

"Do you want me to tell you where the scissors are?"

"Yes"

"They're in my pocket"

"WHAT? YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT I SPENT MY WHOLE DAY SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING THAT WAS IN YOUR POCKET!!!"

"Yup"

"GIMME THOSE SCISSORS!!!"

"No, you couldn't find them so you can't borrow them"

"GIVE ME THE SCISSORS, KAI!"

"No"

"NOW, KAI!!"

"Not happening"

"KAI!!!"

Kai swallowed hard, he didn't like the murderous look on his friend's face.

"Uh...no" he said, although now fearing for his life he was still too stubborn to give in to Tala.

Big mistake.

THUD!

CRASH!

RIP!

WHACK!

"OW! You didn't have to hit me!" shouted Kai who was lying on the ground, his pocket ripped off his pants and a big red mark on his face where Tala had punched him.

"Ha! That sudoku is gonna wish it had never been printed!" exclaimed Tala, running out of the room, grabbing the craft glue he had found earlier on his way.

"Uh oh" said Kai.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took him about twenty minutes, but Kai finally gathered the will power to get up off the floor.

_Tala's being quiet, too quiet. I wonder how that 'revenge on the evil sudoku' thing is going. _He thought, deciding to check on the status of said sudoku.

He went upstairs and was walking down the hallway to Tala's room when he heard someone laughing. It got louder as he neared the room. He walked in to find Tala sitting on the floor, cutting the sudoku into tiny pieces and then chucking the tiny pieces into a pot of glue, laughing insanely the whole time. Needless to say, Kai was disturbed beyond belief and started to retreat to the hallway. Unfortunately for Kai, Tala spotted him, having finished his sudoku destruction. The red-head got up off the floor, bringing his sudoku-glue-mush with him. He walked over to Kai, smirking so evilly it wouldn't surprise anyone if he exploded due to too much evil.Kai stepped back slowly until he felt his back hit the wall. Tala was only inches away from him now, that smirk still on his face. He raised his arm, the one holding his gluey-sudoku confetti and put his hand high over Kai's head. He turned his wrist and poured the stuff all over Kai. He felt the glue solidify in his hair, Tala was in trouble now.

"What did you just do to my hair?" although he was still practically pinned to the wall, his voice held so much venom that Tala was forced to step back.

"It's just glue, Kai. It'll wash right out" said Tala, trying desperately to talk himself out of this one.

No dice.

"You poured GLUE in my hair?" said Kai, raising his voice slightly.

Tala swallowed hard. _Oh shit!_

As he ran toward the bathroom, the only room with a lock, to escape Kai, Tala saw the remains of the newspaper on the floor. Thinking that he might be hiding from Kai for a few hours, he picked it up for reading material. He entered the bathroom and locked the door then sat down with his back to it. He opened the newspaper and found something on the back page that made him scream and throw the newspaper in the general direction of the window before running out of the bathroom.

"DEMON NEWSPAPER!!!" he screamed as he ran into Kai, both of them landing in a heap on the floor.

"Tala, I know this might come as a surprise to you, but I'm not a newspaper." said Kai, pushing the red-head off him..

"The newspaper!...in the bathroom!...it's evil!"

Kai sighed and got to his feet. _Okay, this had gone on WAY too long_

"Show me this 'Evil Newspaper" said Kai, dragging his friend along the floor and back to the bathroom.

"Okay, where is it?" asked Kai, dumping Tala in the middle of the room.

"Over there" said Tala, pointing to the floor just below the window.

Kai walked over and picked up the newspaper.

"Now, what's so damn evil about it?" he asked, bringing the paper over to Tala who was still lying on the floor.

"Look at the back page" the red-head instructed.

Kai did so and what he saw made his eyed go wide in fear.

_Oh dear God no!_ he thought.

This demon newspaper had to be destroyed and soon.

He ran downstairs and grabbed the phone and called the one person he knew that could destroy something this evil.

Bryan.

It was ringing.

"Hello" said a voice at the other end.

"Hi, Bryan. I need you to get over here now. It's an emergency" Kai couldn't keep the fear out of his voice.

"Be there in five" said Bryan and hung up.

FIVE MINUTES LATER

There was a knock at the door.

"He's here!" exclaimed Tala, rushing to the door.

"Okay, what's the big emergency?" asked Bryan as Tala opened the door to let him in.

"You'll see" said Tala, dragging Bryan into the loungeroom where Kai was waiting, the evil demon of a newspaper still in his hand.

"We want you to destroy this" said Kai, handing Bryan the paper.

"You guys are pathetic, you know that?"

"We are NOT" said Tala. "That thing is evil!"

"Just kill it" said Kai.

"It's a piece of paper, Kai, it can't hurt you" said Bryan.

"Kill it" ordered Kai, glaring daggers at Bryan.

"Fine, but it's just a Sudoku Monster puzzle"

THE END

* * *

Weird, I know, but I was bored. 

And don't forget to let me know if there are any puzzles you would like me to bash for you.

Please review.


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